Does Anyone Really Know Anything?

Here’s a peek into my current situation as the Corona Virus crisis has virtually taken over the world. After an entire week of being drowned in panic and hysteria-inducing articles on social media, and newscasts, I finally caved to feeling compelled to gather “a few things” to have on hand in case of a full board lock down. Of course, living in Southern CA, it would be a good idea to have such said box anyway, in case of an earthquake, or whatever other unknown impending crisis that is lurking behind the next corner. It all started last Friday with me going on Amazon to place a small, simple order – only to discover that things like face masks, anti-bacterial gel, Clorox wipes, hand wipes, and even BOTTLED WATER are completely sold out on Amazon. Out of stock. Snatched up by those quick-thinking alarmists who beat me to the punch. So after placing my eBay order for a few obnoxiously overpriced items, I decided to cut out the middle man, get in the car and drive to the grocery store myself to buy these items in order to fill a small storage tub full of non-perishable food (which I have since nicknamed my “Armageddon Box”). Since then, other necessities have come to mind (like 400+ of them); those things which I MIGHT JUST NEED in case of an EXTENDED LOCK DOWN. I’ve now taken several subsequent journeys to Walgreens and various grocery stores to stock up “just in case” on every medicine and herb I have ever ingested. As well as joining the antibacterial gel, hand wipes, Clorox wipes, bottled water and toilet paper Hoarders Club, and other things like canned vegetables, bulk nuts, boxed soups, pasta, peanut butter, honey, turkey jerky, organic trail mix, Kind bars, laundry detergent, paper towels and, of course, Kleenex, since I have been sick with some unknown virus (including a KILLER sore throat) since last Saturday, and Lord knows if we are all on lock down, I don’t want to use up the last of my 98726362818 rolls of toilet paper blowing my ever-running shnoz. Not only are my sinuses full, but my fridge, freezer, kitchen cabinets and bathroom shelves are too! Yay me!

Remind me to tell you about my showdown with the Asian woman at the grocery store over the antibacterial wipes. Long story short: SHE played dirty and she WON. Little did she know, I unearthed a whole other row of camouflaged hand wipes to the far left. HA!! Take THAT! 🤣

Here’s a shot of my kitchen counter filled with a few ESSENTIAL remedies I am currently taking. I need to be committed, I know. I know!

Yesterday we were told by a Doctor on the radio that if you have a runny nose, it is NOT Corona Virus. NOW TODAY, I have read in several places that if you HAVE a runny nose, cough, SORE THROAT, headache or fever, you could have Corona virus. Well, hot damn! Other than the fever, I’m a SHOE-IN for Corona Virus.

In fact, maybe I WAS PATIENT ZERO in SO CAL and didn’t even KNOW IT?????

I wish the CDC and endless news sources (if you can even call them that!) would get their DAMN STORIES STRAIGHT ON SYMPTOMS. Every thing I read and hear lists different symptoms.

If they can’t accurately describe the symptoms, then that means either EVERYONE OR NO ONE will go to get checked at their local ER or Urgent Care. Why is there ZERO consistency in information being disseminated out? That’s simple. Because the media loves to watch us scurry around and freak out like a bunch of cockroaches running from the bright light. Including THIS cockroach. Pure insanity.

Well if I have it, then I think I’m gonna live, because I’m currently on day 6 and guess what? I’m still here. Coughing away and blowing my runny nose every 4 minutes, but here nonetheless.

Considering how fast and severe my sore throat came on, I’m wondering if I got it at Disneyland, where 9818837472746273828 of my closest friends from ALL OVER THE WORLD were visiting The Happiest Place on Earth last Thursday. Hmmmmm what to do?

Who the HELL KNOWS. Do I leave a message for my Dr? Do I go to Urgent Care? With my luck, I’ll go to Urgent Care to get tested, WHERE I WILL CONTRACT CORONA VIRUS FOR REAL!!!

I took the route of making a phone call and I am now on hold with an LA-based Urgent Care over the phone. I told the girl that I came down with a severe sore throat last Saturday, which turned into a bad headache, runny nose and now finally, a cough as well. I said, “FOR ALL I KNOW, I AM PATIENT ZERO IN SO CAL BECAUSE NO ONE IS GIVING CONSISTENT INFO ON SYMPTOMS!!” Maybe that will get their attention. She put me on hold to “check with the nurses and doctors.” I’m thinking that if I don’t know, then no one else knows if they have it either. So everyone that has a SNIFFLE should either ignore it, or run to Urgent Care or the ER to be tested? And possibly CATCH SOMETHING REALLY SCARY?? Pure madness.

If there is NO difference in symptoms between a cold and Corona Virus, then how the hell does ANYONE know what is going on?

As I wait on hold, I see an article where it says the main symptoms are ONLY: fever, cough, and shortness of breath. Well now, that would be a different story, wouldn’t it? Hmmm, who to believe?

Come on CDC and news sources – get your acts together and give us some actual facts. Okay, girl gets back on the phone with me and says – Are you ready for this????

She tells me:

“You will need to call the CDC, which stands for CALIFORNIA DISEASE CONTROL.” 😳😳😳 (Ohhhh boyyyyy. We’ve got a live one here).

“You can tell them your symptoms and they will tell you how you should proceed.” 😳😳😳😳😳😳

I responded, “SO, AS AN URGENT CARE FACILITY IN LA COUNTY, YOU AREN’T FAMILIAR WITH THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A COLD AND CORONA VIRUS??? THAT’S PRETTY SCARY.”

She said, “we are routing all callers thru to the CDC, so they can determine who needs to take further action and testing.”

Really????? 😳

I call the CDC number (it’s actually the CENTER FOR DISEASE CONTROL, in case you were wondering) and the recording says,

“Due to the high volume of calls,

PLEASE

REFER

TO

OUR

WEBSITE

FOR

MORE

INFORMATION.”

Huh. Wow. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR STEERING ME IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION. SO HELPFUL. Thank GOD I called. 😳😳😳😳

I see listed on their website that the main symptoms are – as stated above – fever, cough, and shortness of breath. Alrighty then. Well, I do not now, nor have I thus far had a fever. I also do not have shortness of breath. Henceforth, I will make the EXECUTIVE DECISION THAT I DO NOT HAVE CORONA VIRUS.

GOOD THING I CALLED URGENT CARE!!!!!!! 😳😳😳😳😳😳

What a JOOOOOOOKE. Oh yeah. LA county is WELL PREPARED FOR THIS EPIDEMIC. Good thing I AM!

Don’t panic, they tell us. Riiiiight. Because CLEARLY, they’ve got us covered and it’s all under control.

GOD. HELP. US. ALL.

P.S. In the interest of coming full circle, I currently have a month’s worth of food, meds and supplies on hand to consume before I even have to break into my Armageddon Box. Here’s hoping I’ll survive whatever’s around the corner in this crazy-ass world of ours!